And when I first began to have these self-revelations, I also knew that I needed space to explore all of these complications.Īs I spent time figuring out what they meant, I discovered that if I must have an identification that makes sense to others who need to see me with some sort of stability, it would be “queer.”īut that’s only because, for me, “queer” inherently defies stable identification. I know for certain I’m not heterosexual – without a stable gender, I’m not even sure I could be. Additionally, I realized I don’t know what exactly “attraction” means. I knew before coming to that particular realization that I’m also not only, and haven’t always been, attracted to men. I don’t know what gender I am anymore, if any. I thought I was gay because I thought I was a man, and I thought I was only and always attracted to other men. And maybe I was for some of that time – there’s nothing wrong with being gay.
Originally posted March 1, 2016 by Hari Ziyad at įor a while, I thought I was gay.
